Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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