It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
