I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
