dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize