everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
