Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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