I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I AM VODKA MAN
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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