I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
