After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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