I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
