i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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