He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
