FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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