He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize