Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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