I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
