I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
