What a fucking waste of an outfit
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize