OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
