I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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