we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
