I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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