4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
