just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
