if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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