Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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