fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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