They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
