I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
