I don't think brook has ever known best
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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