Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
