Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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