Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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