hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
