I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
