I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
