You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Watching her eat just hurts me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
