My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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