I'm eating all of the evidence.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
