Say something about gay babies.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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