My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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