there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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