Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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