It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
