I'm jealous of your bromance
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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