the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
