I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
