my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
