Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
