i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead