i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E