Your dad touched me again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
