We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up