The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.