do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS