Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet