I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
