:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How naked do you want me to be?
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