Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
