You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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