kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
