I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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