Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
