Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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