Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Found the puke drawer
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
